And full marks goes to...

Google you suck… why u close down the blogger app?  Now I am stuck using MS word in class to update my blog. Something I shouldn’t do but hey, I can’t keep being too goody. Nobody likes good girl anne.

So I have been pretty busy with classes… labs… and whatnots. The only time I have to blog is during PMS class coz my lazy brains just wouldn’t concentrate on the lecture. Why am I mumbling again?

Speaking of mumbling, a lecturer (unintentionally of course) said I was talkative. 😂 So apparently I am miss chatterbox. Well… if I wasn’t chatty, the class would be too quiet you’d start hearing crickets, no? I light up the room! But yeah… I guess I should reduce my chattiness. I wouldn’t wannabe a student version of Fran Fine, ahhahahhhhaa… (imagine i'm saying that with the nasal effect)

I got my AAP test 1 results. Guess who scored 100%? I’ll tell ya. Little Miss Chatterbox! See now I talk a lot, I write a lot but I don’t talk only empty words, baby. My words make sense to some people. And most importantly, my lecturers. I guess it helps raise my spirits now. I was at a low point thinking I flunked every test. Fortunately, I still got it!

#Ididit #alhamdulillah #ThankYouGod

Of course I will not be overconfident. There’s still a loooooong way to go. I still have the brain scraping statistics test coming up soon. And lab works/reports I know nothing about. So far my friends have been so supportive and helpful, kinda makes me feel guilty for being weak and helpless. I'm starting to feel the exhaustion of being a student and it's wearing me out mentally, emotionally and physically. Just need to be careful where I step on now. It's getting tougher. 

Stop breaking my heart...

Lately i find myself suffering from insomnia. I couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight... you're in my mind all the time. Oh what a challenge you are. So complicated, so foreign. We live so near and yet it feels like we're worlds apart. You break my heart everytime i see u in class. I couldn't understand you... It feels like you're slipping further away everytime I try. Don't you see how much I care for you? Why can't you love me back? What do i have to do, to sacrifice, to finally get you?

Oh Statistics... Stop breaking my heart..

The Lady and the Highwaymen

Just in case you don't get it (The pun, I mean). Here's a clue.

The Lady and the Highwaymen. See what I did there?

I know I may have mentioned how much I LOVE writing. I had series of secret diaries and journals when I was a teenager. (mostly about boyfriends and/or hating life) I even still have it. You know just in case I died and people want to read the ridiculous chronicles of Anne. But... despite having sooooo much to write about today, I am in no mood to do so. Don't ask me why. I have the weirdest laziness when I have so much to say. It's just my brains being a scumbag.

I'll just summarize the stuff I wanna share. The rest will be in my other journal for safe keeps. You know, the one with a password and full of regrets? 😝

You know just as I was starting to write the sentences, I find myself being odd and a little bit too enlivened for my own good. If I start babbling I might end up writing nonsense. I blame the exhaustion. My body is too tired to let my brain think. So I'll just put up this photo as a summary of today. 😓

Now aren't I a selfie magnet, there?

Lab works are exhausting. It's dusty and fumy (is that even a word?) and hot and sticky. See why I chose the path of an educator? I can be clean and safe all day long. But, Thank God for these cool, funny, friendly people in my class, it turned out to be fun. Everyone was so helpful and hillarious. Oh I also just have to mention the pre-lab discussion (or debate?) we had about Israel vs Palestine. That was surprisingly, intellectually fun. 

Credits to Yazeed from Palestine. (It's pronounced pa-lest-taine, by the way)

💖

p/s : Everyone needs a little inspiration in class, right?  💘

Encryption of the Metafile

Whatever that means.

I love helping people. It makes me feel good about myself. When people ask me for help, I would always do my best not to disappoint them. However, despite that, I also hate being taken advantage of. Yeah, of course I have some trust issues. I need to protect my own feelings from disappointment due to my own ignorant and carelessness.

Surprisingly, this is the ONLY meme i googled that fits this entry

When people ask me to lend them money, I would just let them know that I barely have enough for myself. Not kidding. When people ask me to drive them somewhere, I would tell them I am a cowardly driver who uses Waze to work my way around even after driving the same roads for weeks. If you know me, you would know this is true. When people ask me to teach them something, I would study like crazy and try as much as I can to share the knowledge. When people ask me for a copy of my assignments, I'll be glad to give them, but of course I would secure them like crazy first.

It's not that I want to put 'terms and conditions' on everything I do for people, I just don't want to end up hating myself when people take advantage of my attempt of kindness. It's better to be safe then sorry, right? I just hope people understand why i do the things I do. I try to be kind. But at the same time, I don't want to be fooled.

So I hope people don't stop asking me for help because I would do what I can to do it.

Introducing Mrs Kia

In class, with my ipad. Being a typical student. Bored as hell.

Nobody likes a Mr or Miss know-it-all. That’s general knowledge. I know some occasions I have been one myself. And honestly, I hate myself for that. I’d understand if I end up friendless and enemy-full.

I try not to label or judge anyone. I mean, I would be a hypocrite myself if I do the things I hate people do. But hey, that’s what blogs and journals are for, right? To express your feelings to the world except that person.

The Mrs Kia in this class right now is annoying the hell outta me. Okay fine, we know you are working in a big company and know a lot about pavement technology, we get it. But stop acting like you know more than the lecturer. I mean, finishing the lecturer’s sentences… interfering with his lectures… reminding everyone in class every minute that you know everything…arguing about every effing word the lecturer says…  just urgh, bich shut up already and let the man talk!

It’s good though. There always has to be one person in class that we all need to hate. Because of Mrs Kia, the focus isn’t on me, so yeay! Knowing my history in previous institutes, not being hated in class is a huge milestone reached.

The Return of Faith

Semester break is over. I'm back to classes as usual.

Yesterday was the first class after a week break. Also, after a long 2 weeks of having no Dr R around. He was busy in some conference overseas I think. I had spent 3 days in a row going to CeLT in Setiawangsa for some online lecturer shootings and I was exhausted by the time I had to go to class yesterday. I was literally dragging my feet to class. And was at the verge of holding my eyes open with matchsticks.

(okay I just googled some images for 'eye open matchsticks' and they were all so creepy so I'm not gonna put em in here.)

It was fun to be back in class with a lot of people to talk with. I felt like finally people were taking me seriously after I showed some skills in the lab works. The US election was the main topic pre-class, so it was kinda interesting. US politics are waaaaay more interesting than local politics so I got a few sayings in that. Then, Dr R came in bringing some heart-breaking news about our theory test. He said he was disapointed and that we all sucked. (Not his words, I'm just summarizing them in simpler terms).

Then, the class continued with the lesson. I had no idea what the lecture was about (as usual) but he was funny as hell and everyone just had to laugh at his jokes. I have to admit I enjoyed it despite being clueless about Marshall Mix Design. I mean, what does pavement design have anything to do with baking a cake?

 

Recipe for baking a cake. 1/2 kg salt for seasoning. 

The climax of yesterday's class happened at the end. He was returning our test papers that we victoriously sucked at. First he listed all the marks in ascending order, lowest (5/30) to highest (25.5/30) (I did't know why though, nobody wanted to know other people's results), and then he called us out one by one. My heart was on the verge of exploding and my hands were shaking so hard when my name didn't come up until almost the very end. I thought I failed and my heart just sank.

It's funny when life takes a sudden turn when you had expected to go straight down the edge of the cliff. I mean, I knew I sucked at the test. i had no idea what I was writing and I almost cried when I saw the questions. I had thought all my weeks of studying was for nothing. Thank you, God. Thank You for reminding me my brains work fine. I scored a 24.5 out of 30. My sinking heart resurfaced but my trembling hands trembled even more. I was in the top 3.

I did it!

I guess this was a boost of confidence. I had given myself such a hard time, punishing my brains and body for not doing enough, and it wore me out. I still have no clue about HMAs and SMAs and stuff, but I now know I'm going somewhere.

Oh, ye have so little faith

Don't doubt it, don't doubt it

Victory is in my veins

I know it, I know it

And I will not negotiate

I'll fight it, I'll fight it

I will transform

(Rise by Katy Perry)

Asking for help

i have this problem. I hate asking for help. Mainly because I hate feeling disapointed when people refuse to help. Unfortunately Dr L gave us an assignment where we have to ask people for favors. It's an easy favor, but my pride is so stupidly huge, i feel like it's calculus-hard.

I have to collect 30 photos of people's car meter. For analysis purposes. And take the same meter a week after. So far i got 4. 26 to go.