Progress is slow.

This semester has been a total nightmare. Me against my own laziness. Wake up, Anne! Time is running out FGS!

I blame the game

Hello again!

We're back!

Hello to whoever's reading! We're two weeks into the semester and I have got to be honest. Where is my mind? The student feeling isn't here yet. At this point I don't even know if it will be. My mind's exhausted all the time. I'm always distracting myself with GTA online and I haven't lifted a book! Don't even let me begin with my dissertation progress. urgh...

Anyway... I guess this is normal for every student after a long break from the books. I'll note this in my memory so I can find a way to motivate my students in the future knowing they feel this way.

I have 2 subjects this semester and 1 final dissertation. Meaning I'm supposed to have plenty of time to focus on my research. But I am so lazy I hate myself everyday for it. I'm even having a hard time typing as it has been a while since I last used a keyboard for typing. Where's my spirit?

Thankfully, I feel a little bit different when I am in class. Observing the way the lecturers' teach i feel better about completing my masters and going back to work next year. I guess that's what i have to do. Pick myself up and force myself to class and library. And start being serious about studies.  

There's nothing much to tell you about classes so far. It has only been one class for each subject. I'm taking Construction Business Management again because I have to. Remember last time how I complained about the big talk, the showing off? Well I noticed the environment has changed. i hope it'll be a good class and I'll learn how to manage money better. As for the other class, Research mothodolgy, the lecturer seems pro. I like the guy. The way he talks, the confidence... A boost for my laziness. Ao we'll see how things go in the next coming weeks. 

Another Semester down... hello, holidays...

2 semesters done and I can say, I nailed it! 8 courses taken, got 2 left and 1 big final dissertation to get over with. Wow... Time really flies that fast, huh? I'm still 33 going 34 soon and nothing big is happening to my life yet. One step at a time they say. 

So 8 courses. 6As, 1A-, and 1B+. I can say it's not too bad for a beginner, right? All theories, not so much practical, of course I could do it. I am a lecturer after all. I make exam papers and grade them for a living. The only thing is, I hate research! I mean, I still do. I think research is pointless. You're not inventing anything that would change the world anyways. So let me take a screenshot of my exam results. 

My exam results being an open book...

I won't say it's the BEST result ever, I mean see that annoying B+ down at the bottom? Yep. It kinda spoils the whole document really. But I am always grateful. Grateful for getting more than I deserve. I didn't focus that much in classes, I skipped a few and I had no idea what was happening in some classes at all. I felt like this semester was a bunch of gambling and I guess I got lucky. A- in a subject I feel so lost about? Wow... Thanks, Lady Luck!

So there it is. I don't feel any need to hide my results. This is after all a blog about my Masters journey and how I'm walking through it. So yeah, with all that I'm doing and going to do, these are my achievements so far. Still a loooong way to go, especially with final project. I got this. I think. 

I have to admit though, I couldn't have done this without awesome friends and awesome lecturers. Everyone was very helpful to the end. I didn't do this on my own. I had lots of help and people were more confident about me than myself. Even I didn't think I would get what I got.

This is Us.

See you, next semester, UPM!

Sorry...

Almost a month now and I haven't updated anything, I know. It's been a lazy, crazy semester with me battling with my own mind. I feel like I'm starting to sink into nothingness. What have I done?

Okay nothing worth getting dramatic about. So my results suck this semester, so what? At least I haven't failed anything yet. The road seems a bit bumpy ahead but se a vida es, right? I clearly know that comparing my terrible results with others' victorious marks is what's making me blue, and yet my crazy head seems to keep doing it. I hate this train of thoughts. It's full of regrets. Jeezus, move on already, dear Anne!

Yep, I'm doing that dramatic thing again. I need to control myself before I get all worked out stressed for no reason. I didn't manage to get highest in everything this semester. But my marks are still saveable. I just need to study harder and save playing around for later. Life goes on.

This post is for me to vent my disappointment towards myself. Not that it'd make much different but writing about it helps a bit, I guess. Admitting your defeat is the first step to move forward. I didn't work hard enough during the past 15 weeks but I got about 24 hours to kick my ass up and try again.

Brains, let's do this!

Battle of the Exam Date

Something interesting happened today. You know, finals are approaching and everyone is all worked up. I have to admit, this semester has been very tough. Everything is twice as hard. I went to class everyday, every week and still end up knowing nothing about anything. So yeah, everyone is feeling the stress.

The Finals timetable is out and some people are happy about it, some people are okay about it and some are unhappy about it. Today's class featured an emotional debate between the happy and unhappy. I have to admit I think I understand why half the class wanted to have the Pavement Analysis exams on Saturday instead of Tuesday (they seem to have an exam the day before). I also understand why the other half wanted to have it on the set date, to get it over with and move on with other courses. So everyone had their own reasons and priorities.

What got my attention today was how the professor managed to solve the issue calmly, wisely and rationally. I was really amazed at how he controlled the argument, making fair points with an open mind. It's something I wish to learn to do. To be able to solve raising issues in class like a wise owl. Ah... I can only dream to be that kind of professor. :)

I'm too sleepy right now. I'll write more about this tomorow. I think.

Here goes...!

I have got to put my procrastination-ness to an end. We're all done for second tests now. Got only one left but it's take home so should be no problem. So now i'm down to the most feared task... the proposal for my Dissertation.

Here goes.

The guidelines. 

I know it's been a while

I know, I know. I sorta broke my own promise to be an active blogger but I got lazy. Honestly, I got lazy in all aspects of my life. It has been a crazy brainscraping semester and I have been procrastinating like a bish. No matter how I tell myself to get up and do stuff, my brains seem to overwrite it. So I'm stuck with a bunch of assignments and a huge ass proposal to complete.  So about my Masters Journey... Here's the update. Second tests just passed. As expected they were twice as hard as the first ones. I screwed up Highway Capacity, having no clue what I was doing just because I missed ONE important class. I had no idea the jibber jabber I was mumbling about in Advanced Transportation and don't even let me start about screwing up in Pavement Analysis. Everything is sooooo difficult this semester. All this time I keep getting lucky. Scoring high marks and maintaining grades. I just hope my luck hasn't run out. 

No matter how hard i try, i still know nothing

I guess life goes on. I still got a dissertation I need to work on. So far I have compiled like 50 journals. I got like 7 days to complete 50 pages of report and then, a presentation. So far, all is "okay". I still have writer's block, which also explains why I haven't been blogging for so long. This isn't easy. Especially when so many things are distracting me. Rust, shopping, being broke, trying to be skinny. Urgh... I need to sort out my priorities! 

Challenges

When I was offered the scholarship to take a work leave and pursue my Masters, I immediately chose to do it by Coursework. The other option being by Research which I know I'm not good at. Some people love collecting and analyzing data. Others like me prefer the old fashion study, assignments, tests and exams way of doing things.

I can study. Give me things to study, to memorize, I'll do it gladly. I'll organize my notes, rewrite them in colours and sit down for hours and hours of studying. I can go to classes, write down everything I can and adjust my brains to understand what the professors are saying.

But give me a research topic and I lose my way.

Tomorrow will be the first test of the semester. Advanced Highway Capacity Analysis. So far, the course has been good to me. I managed to understand the steps, tables and formulas. There may be some twists here and there, but with the help of my logic skills, I think I can handle it. Nervous? of course. It's a test. A "game" as Prof R would say. I just hope I score in this one. It's a "miniboss" before the final boss also known as Finals.

As for my research. After a lot of dilemma on who to pick as my supervisor, I decided to go for the new and young lecturer, Dr F. The other lecturers seem a bit too busy, always being unavailable when I try to visit them for advice. And I feel a little too inferior with the experienced pros. As for my (used to be) favorite lecturer, I'll pass. I don't wanna be a sidekick to anyone. Not today. So whatever it is, hopefully I'll get this done well.

Time to Kick Ass and Take Names.

The Headache

I went to bed at 10pm. Felt a slight headache so I took 2 panadols and slept. Woke up at 4 am by a crazy nightmarish headache. Tried to sleep but couldn't so I took another 2 panadols. Nothing. Headache got worse so I gave up trying to sleep and got out to shower etc at around 9am. Ate breakfast and went to lie down in bed with throbbing headache. Googled how to fix it. Gave up as all the suggestions seemed lame. (inhale vinegar? wtf). Took a panadol soluble, dissolved it in water and tried to get some shut eye at around 11am. Headache reduced. Just some head rush. Got up few moments later, ate lunch and drank some iced pepsi. Headache reduced. What a crazy, tiring day! A whole Sunday wasted by a long ass (still going on as I'm typing this) headache.

Masters degree can kill.

Presenting Me~

When I was a child, my ambition was to be a singer. But then my voice sucks. So I decided to be a reporter or a TV presenter. And then a lawyer and finally a lecturer. It shows how I am interested to present stuff to people. I may be studying engineering, but I will always be a lecturer deep inside. We were given an assignment to be presented last night in class. So this is the poster:

Ahh... I miss teaching. I miss being in front of the class, telling stories to my students. I can't wait to return there. Just gotta finish this first.

First 2 weeks Summary

So... 2 weeks have passed since semester started. I have to be honest the heat is up! I registered for 4 courses + dissertation this semester and it's already causing me insomnia. Anyway, before I start venting to you about what's causing me to count sheeps to sleep, let me summarize (briefly) the past 2 weeks.

Monday's class was okay. We have a new lecturer in store. Dr F. A young, fresh, new face to the team of grand professors. The subject is "Highway Design" where we would be learning how to geometrically design roads. By geometrically, I mean the crazy horizontal and vertical alignment noone ever cared about. So far it has been 1 class, with a group assignment. Can't comment much yet about this subject so we'll see how tomorrow goes.

Tuesday's class is a repetition of the crazy semester last year was. Remember when i said Pavement Materials was the most stressful course? Well, dejavu. This course, Pavement Analysis and Design doesn't seem to appear any different. Already the class feels too long, and scary. My fingers know the pain best as it tries to catch up with the speed of the lecture. Oh the pressure!

Wednesday's class is a bit relaxful. At least for now. Taught by Dr L, it feels familiar, laid back and interesting. The course is called Advanced Transport Engineering, so I have a feeling something calculusly is on the way to confuse the brains. *shudders*

Thursday's class. Well. I have to carefully pick my words to make sure my feelings about this course is not misinterpreted. The subject is called highway capacity so it's about how certain expressways or highways are capable of handling the crazy volumes of traffic. I gotta love the course as my forte is traffic but the lectures are not making it easy. Handled by traffic genius Dr H, it appears to be interesting. What's missing is Prof R's humor.

So four days of classes, four different lecturers. Masters ain't for the weak, I tell ya.

Semester 2 2016/2017

Hello bishes I'm back!

As much as i feel like i'm dragging my feet to classes this week, i have to admit i am looking forward to this semester. Probably because i had started to feel like a fat lazy whale at home doing nothing but playing video games. So i am back, staying at my sister's house like a poor homeless and going to classes everyday. I have registered four classes and dissertation for this semester. And right now, as usual i am the first to arrive in class. I've been here since 4.30 coz i'm a brilliant student like that.

So.. this semester you'll be looking at me going through these courses:

Monday - Highway Design
Tuesday - Pavement Analysis and Design
Wednesday - Advanced Transport Capacity Analysis
Thursday - Highway Capacity Analysis

And all with different lecturers so this should be interesting. I have to admit this journey has been a good one so far. Last semester was fun, i'm getting good at wasting money on food and make up and i managed to achieve good grades. This semester is yet to be reviewed.

So... Results are out!

Finally today I was able to get ALL my courses' results. Honestly, I have to admit I got more than I deserve. So, thank God for all that He gave me this semester. Next week new classes start so i gotta be up and prepared. Can't believe 6 weeks of holidays are over! Where did my time go besides Australia?

Road Safety Audit -A
Statistical Methods in Transportation - A
Pavement Materials - A

...all seem to be going well when suddenly...

Pavement Management System - B+

B+

Well...well well... At least now It can be confirmed that as much as I am good in analyzing accidents and deciding what road materials to use... I suck at managing the roads. Imagine that. I'll just pay someone who is good at choosing what kind of rehabilitation methods to use on a broken roadway. I can't even differentiate crocodile and block cracks so yeah... B+ is probably exactly what I deserved.

yup!

So First semester is officially over. And I successfully passed. Alhamdulillah. Next semester will be tougher as I'll be doing my dissertation. Yikes. Time to move on and kick ass again.

It's a wrap...!

4 months ago, I registered in UPM, having no idea how Masters work. Today I call freedom! Finals are over and now I got 6 weeks of I have no idea what to do. But am I complaining? Of course no! Here's the summary of how my finals went.

My notes are messy on purpose. 

Tuesday, 27th December 2016. 
First Day of Exams - Accident Analysis & Prevention. I have to admit when I saw the carry mark I was kinda disappointed. I was hoping for something above 55/60 but I got a 52. The chances of getting an A were well, close to zero. So the day before the exams only I started to study the course. It was a subjective paper so, the questions could be anything. I studied the simple chi-square analysis how I learned it in QA course, and shared the knowledge with everyone. Then I studied the simple calculation about intersection accident research warrant and then I stopped. I figured that no matter how much you read, you still had to figure things out on the day of the exams. I took it easy and Alhamdulillah... It went alright. Being able to finish the questions in time gave me a boost of confidence.

Happy Faces... Right?

Saturday, 31st December 2016

Honestly? This paper was weird. Weird in a way that I had no idea I didn't have any idea about anything in this course. Supposedly Pavement Management is about pavement management. Turned out I underestimated the course. The questions has nothing to do with what I learned all semester long. And I have to admit I am kinda worried about how this would turn up. #nervous. The good thing about this is that everyone felt the same way too. I am not alone. 

Exactly.

Tuesday, 3rd January 2017

I used to say that pavement materials is the most stressful subject this semester. Well that was before Statistics test. The subject is indeed tiring, having to go to the lab every other day, while studying for classes and tests, but surprising I managed. I scored top three for both tests and finals seemed doable. I was motivated to go full-blast lecturer on the lab report, which you check it out here. But whatever it is, I hope I did it the correct way. There's nothing good about being overconfident, right? 

Prof R is the best lecturer so far. He's funny and he knows everything about the subject. I have high respect towards him and I can only dream to be half a good lecturer as he is. 

I had to bring all that to exams but in the end, I used none of it. 

Friday, 6th January 2017

Last ride of the day! An expression for the final "fun" I had for the whole semester. Statistics had been a crazy ride for me. Making my brains hit a stroke during the test and a heartbreak when the result was published. However, I took all energy and studied full-blast for the finals. Sleeping past 2-3 am and waking up at 6 only to study and study and study. I don't know if I did well, but I did my best. What worried me was that I finished the questions in 1 hour while everyone else was working hard on it. The fact that I used the secret of the calculator should explain how I did it. (Thanks, Dr Rashid and Hj yusof from the QA Course) Did I own it? Or did the course own me? In time we'll find out. All I can say is this subject is definitely not for the emotionally weak. 

Statistics - A subject that uses 2 calculators and still Syntax error.  

So, in the end, it's over and done. Overall it had been a wonderful, crazy, amazing semester. I met new friends inside and outside the country (Pro Engineers, for sure!) and learned so many things about diversity. So far, this semester has been an adventure. Looking forward to kick ass in the next! Brains, heart, body, mind and spirit... We did it!